


Watch the past go up in shotglasses

by Gay_as_fuck



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Swearing, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 03:34:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4650723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gay_as_fuck/pseuds/Gay_as_fuck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason Todd is alone again, just him vs the world. Just royally fucked up him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Watch the past go up in shotglasses

**Author's Note:**

> Slight AU, something bad happened to the outlaws and they split up/ died.

The bar is crowded but Jason is alone. He watches the other patrons; friends, family, lovers all gathered together for drinks. He is so very different, just a lonely man with to many weapons to count. 'I should start over again, just me against the world'. The idea bounces around in his head, maybe third time's the charm. But who is he kidding, it's not like he has another choice."Vodka" he calls and soon the bar tender places the poison of his choice in front of him.

'For Starfire'

For the orange girl who came to find something new and left with it locked deep in her heart, buried under sadness.

The liquid fire burns down and he takes it with the deep cuts of what might have been. His glass is quickly filled up by the bartender who is unknowingly now part of Jason's self destruction.

'For Roy' 

For Jason's second chance, for the fire haired boy who made his choice and lived for everything that killed him quicker. This memory hurts just as much as starfire, even more so knowing he had a second chance

He could understand that, the want for fire in your blood instead of the hole in your heart. Jason's glass was again filled, more money on a tab that showcased how royally fucked up he is.

'For Damian'

He fucking HATES that kid but there was something he understood. Wanting, needing, to be all Bruce expected of him but always falling short and being kicked back like a ragdoll. They were the dead kids, the robins who died fighting someone else's war. They died with a hope that their mothers loved them and their father would mourn. He lost track of when the burning liquid filled his glass but he knew it was another dollar he didn't want to pay.

'For Steph'

She had been everything a Robin should be. She had almost joined Jason in death, but that had been a lie that hurt everyone. She lived a lie, that what she was doing was atoning for the sins of her father. She was doing it to save the city and that was more noble than Jason could manage. She has Jason's fire, dick's grace, and Tim's love. She had sistership in people who couldn't let him go.

He stopped caring when icy fire filled his glass, only that it burned in his blood for the people he loved.

'For Cass'

Who was the only one that fit the mold. She could slip and slide into any role that suited her; hero, villians, savior, murderer. Anything Bruce wanted she could be.He wanted to understand her and learn what it was like to fight with her on the same side, but she slipped through his fingers. Bruce's perfect girl dancing out of his grasp and knowing full well that she is. His blood was afire with all his poison granted him and his mind began to slip from who he hated and turned them back into people he loved.

'For Barbara'

Before Bruce had failed a dozen times over there was his favorite daughter, cass' may have been all he wanted but Barbara was the fire in his eyes and the laugh on an old butler's face.They soldier who made patrol fun and crime low fell to a bullet, one she fought against to keep the fire in her eyes. She was strength and, though he'd never say it, she was who he wanted to be like.

'For tim'

His shots were not enough to make him forget the child who wanted so badly to help and tried to keep things from breaking any further. He tried but just him alone wasn't strong like the fire that once glued them all together, it was all the boy had. Jason wanted to hate Tim and for a while he did but none of it was the boy's fault. He wasn't to blame for a broken family or that he hurts Jason in ways the man had not figured possible.

'For Alfred'

Alfred would scold Jason for the nightly tabs and the painful mornings. Alfred would fine a way for the fire in Jason's veins to burn without killing him.If there was a reason for Jason to come back it was Alfred. The old man had a welcoming smile and forgiving words. He was stern and loving and the sender of the finely cooked meals Jason received every Wednesday. He missed the soft sweep of Alfred's broom and the smell of cookies hot out of the oven. If there was a reason to fix the family it was Alfred.

'For dick'

For a brother who hurt Jason in ways Jason couldn't understand. For the golden child who could do it all in the blink of an eye and with a smile. But more for the brother who fought for his wayward brother to come home and be crushed by the truth, Jason didn't think there was anything left of home in Wayne manor. His mind muttled with a sickly sweet haze knew one thing, he had to drink to Bruce. The man who made him bitter and angry and wanted nothing more than to fix his mistake. Bruce who would hold him close when nightmares struck and fear settled into a young Jason's heart. For a man who started bitter and cold and turned into a defrosting man.

'For bruce'

The shot went down like napalm, burning against his lungs and turning Jason into a drowning man. Jason wanted badly to go home but for the night he watched his past go up in shotglasses


End file.
